Matt Valentine's Blog for Writers and Readers

You may have noticed recently an undercurrent of darkness that may have felt unnerving, frightening and strange. Me too.

Well Monday (6th July) saw a full moon in Cancer and Capricorn which in itself brings issues around personal safety, security and support to the fore. The very next day saw a partial lunar eclipse to bring even more intensity to these issues and general scheme of things. Breathe. Exhale. And let it go.

On the day of the full moon I awoke and thought to myself: 'I've had enough.' There are many facets within my life that this relates to but in the main this meant it was time to close my healing and therapy business of ten years. So I did it there and then. I closed down the website, called the Inland Revenue, Emailed patients and decided I was no longer going to be a whore to the needs of the few.

The time has come to be a healer to the needs of the masses. Where does this process start? With me of course.

It is now time to retreat, recoil, re-evaluate and remind myself of the difference between compassion and what the Tibetans call Idiot Compassion where we give so much of ourselves that there isn't anything left for anyone. Whether that be physical, emotional or financial.

For if I am truly going to help more people and really make a difference, I must first teach myself how to be self-reliant to prevent burn-out and to tend my own garden of souls with the same loving care I will then extend out to others. How that mass healing will take place hasn't yet been revealed to me.

The longest of journeys begins with the smallest step and right now my feet appear to be completely still. Ah.... and it feels good to rest a while...

Hmmmm.... now this may sound more mystical than usual but today I am filled with a sense of silent, invisible yet profound support that I yearn to share with you. Writing in itself is, of course, a very isolated and sometimes lonely occupation. But when you have actually produced something it is natural to want to share it with the world by publishing it. Now of course the first rung of this publishing ladder is often to share it with your family, partner and friends. Sadly, I no longer have any family and the majority of my friends are in India and Spain so having the 'viewing evening' that is my heartfelt dream; with glowing candles, nibbles, giggles and the manuscript doing the rounds from eager supporter to loyal critique is, alas, not for me just yet. I am also single....still! So what to do?

Well of course there are other options - go straight to the agent or publisher if you don't mind waiting anything from 2 weeks to a year, self-publish in print or self-publish in digital to test the water to see how it feels to firstly see it in all its glory and, of course, experience the feedback after people have read it. So that is what I did, I published a shortened version of my first book as an e-book and waited.....and waited.....and...nothing. Not a sausage.

My marketing? Well I emailed friends, colleagues and patients in the first instance; assuming that this book on healing - requested my many - was sure to be downloaded with child-like excitement and fulfilled anticipation. I didn't receive a single download from these particular sources - not one. So I was feeling saddened, betrayed, let-down and all that ego-tainted 'rejection' that often tortures an artistic soul.

Then one night, I was laid in the security of my bed linen with a sense of deep alone-ness that somehow opened me to other possibilities. And I prayed. I prayed for my ego to release me from the selfish trappings of my illusory expectations, I prayed for an alternative 'family' to offer support, encouragement and respect for my work. It appeared that nothing happened until three days later, I was meditating and behind me I sensed the room FULL of strange figures and could actually hear them chattering. Now this in itself isn't a new thing for me, as I often see and hear this when I am working or doing an attunement (Reiki) but then they spoke to me.... 'We are here for you now.'

OH MY GOD!! Literally.

And I fell asleep and had the deepest most nourishing rest I have had for a long time. The next day I went to see my homoeopath and told her, amongst other stuff, what happened. She said: 'Do you feel supported?' OH YES I DO!! Wow.

Our family is not always where we expect it to be. And, indeed, neither are our true friends.

Slowly but surely I started to get new ideas around marketing (not my strong point) and my first 'read,' and indeed sale, was from a complete stranger in the States, then a friend of a friend (who didn't actually know me) bought one and it grew albeit slowly, from there. At this stage it isn't about the money, it is about acknowledgement of my achievements and practical feedback and support to help shape future endeavours.

I am sharing this with you because very often in this business (yes, it is a business) we can all too easily become disheartened and lose faith - especially if we don't have a great support network...so... it is about CREATING our very own support network that will gently but firmly encourage us to carry on, improve and, for me, make more money so that I can assist others who are less fortunate than myself. So I think that as long as your intentions are pure, open, selfless and giving - you WILL find your own support..... from the most unexpected sources.

DO IT! And I send you much love and many many blessings! xxx

The Tao means (loosely): The Pathless Way and is often seen, from the outside, as pure chaos. So when we come to the waiting game how can this too be apparently chaotic? Well it isn't actually and nor is the Tao itself. It is all about going with the flow of energy within and without our human existence.

Right now my life is quite settled - God it's boring! I know that a change is coming because I can feel it, but just when that change will be I do not know. Now I could try to hurry things up a bit by drumming up business, advertising on marketing sites (for business) or I could jump on a plane and just hop it over to India for a rest (for leisure) but although my ego would love to force this action into being - I know that this is not the Tao right now. Right now the Tao...the way...is to wait.

Oh shit.

Oh well, I drop the anxiety over needing to 'do' and I just get on with the mundane reality of this moment - writing books, seeing patients, doing massage treatments and meditating. And when the moment comes to 'do' I, of course, won't need to even think about it. Now this spontanious movement through life is just why it appears to be chaos, but oh no my dear friend, it is pure energy, clear light, and Divine Wisdom.

'Dance like nobody?s watching, dream like you?ll live forever, live like you?ll die tomorrow, love like it will never hurt'. ? Meme Grifsters

(Thanks to AlanHChin on twitter for reminding me!).

Does this sound like a strange combination? Well maybe it is but, for me, it works! Writing is a creative process that requires the right brain and the heart (right brain - intuitive, creative, feminine) and meditation helps to stimulate these by communicating with your body, mind and emotions - if you are doing it in the most helpful fashion.

Now this may sound like a contradiction but it is more of a paradox -  to write we also need the left brain (methodical, analytical, masculine) to play its vital role in solidifying the words that we present to the page in a manner that makes sense. So the process of meditation also aids this by opening the heart. Opening the heart stimulates the left brain? Yes it most definitely does! For when we open the heart (you will know this has happened when you giggle, cry or both) the surge of energy and chemical reaction that then takes place automatically integrates the left and right hemispheres of the brain AND at this point the third eye opens. The third eye is our 'all seeing eye' and centre of intuition and from this place we can effortlessly produce work. Result!

If meditation is not your thing, there is another way to bring about this integration. Simply try 'automatic writing' or 'freeflowing' which simply means that you grab your pen and write ANYTHING that pops through onto the paper. This will probably appear to be nonsense and okay you maybe wouldn't submit that to a publisher but not only can this be a beautiful cathartic exercise for you - it will also integrate the left and right brains.

The other thing you can do instead of or in addition to - is to have a pen/pencil/crayon etc in each hand and simultaneously scribble. The brains get so confused with this process that they simply surrender and integrate seamlessly into each other - and so the genius begins....

I have just been introduced to a brave new world - e-publishing. WOW! Now for a complete technophobe I am astonished at how easy this is..... albeit very very time consuming but still; I did it!

I was trying to discover a way to publish my latest works AND have the freedom to travel AND ensure I still had an income AND somehow ensure that I (being a control freak...) had full say over what, where and how it is published and distributed. So I was browsing on twitter one day and a fellow writer posted 'new e-book out today!' I followed the link and it took me to Lulu.com which is a huge publishing community rather like ebay for writers and readers. Cool!

I love it. I uploaded my completed book and it magically converted the file to a PDF for me... now I did have to do this eleven times before it was done as there were glitches and it did take me twelve hours to fully complete the process (in addition, of course, to actually researching, writing and producing the finished e-book) but this was my first time.

This is a great way to 'test' new material before it goes into hard copy and you can also do that here too! I now become my own publisher via Print on Demand or POD for those in the know. The customer purchases the book online and that revenue pays for the book to be printed individually and then it is sent out to them in a surprisingly short space of time. And the joy of this is that me, the author, doesn't have to worry about this part as Lulu.com handles it all; including payment.

The down sides of this are obviously promotion and marketing is down to me and payment is quarterley but still; for now it takes a lot of pressure off regarding searching traditional publishers and then waiting the 3-6 months for an answer. It is a very individual choice; which way to go in order to get your work in print - and remember that this medium will change depending on what you are doing and where you are. But if it is freedom and control you require; at the same time; then this is a great foothold into the world of publishing. Try it - you might like it!

Wealth. It appears you either have it or you don’t, especially in this day and age. I work as a therapist and last week I worked with a patient who was distraught because she had been forced to downsize her Porsche, yes really. Her fear, trauma and anxiety were all very real to her as ‘the recession’ took a tight hold of her insecurities and wouldn’t let go.

I spend some time in India each year and boy am I glad I do because I find that grounding offers a more balanced and realistic view of my own and the country’s situation. Each and every person is so consumed by themselves that they truly believe that this recession is ruining their lives; even when they are still behind the wheel of a Porsche Carrera.

Another story that is equally tinged, for me, with humour and anger is my Landlord emailing me to ask me to pay the arrears on my apartment because ‘things are tight this end also.’ The next day I return from the shops having spent my weekly £20 food budget to find his father drawing up in his brand new Bentley. For a moment I was filled with anger, frustration and almost despair at the incredible wealth laid before me compared to the two bags of knock-down budget food I had to last me seven days. Then I took a big, deep breath, complemented him on his luxury automobile and popped Sky TV on to watch PCT News; an Indian news channel. Ah that’s better, a sense of reality.

The purpose? To help me to gain a sense of perspective and to value what I have and not emphasise what I don’t. It also, obviously, helps me to drop any jealousy I may have with the wealthy. Now they may not be able to see their wealth but I do and that, in turn, helps me to drop any guilt and anxiety I have in being behind in my rent. Now don’t get me wrong, it is very important for me to honour my bills and respect the people I owe money to – but they cannot have what I don’t have and so secure in the knowledge that I am doing my utmost to repay them and that they are not suffering as a consequence – homeostasis is restored!

Gandhi once said: ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world.’ For me this means looking at the bigger picture whenever I can and in doing this helps me to preserve energy for my own development that otherwise would have been spent on anger, jealousy and resentment. All no good when the mass consciousness these days threatens to overwhelm the human race with negative emotions.

So to cope with my own money worries and struggling to pay the bills what do I do? I work as hard as I can, try my best not to waste money on rubbish and give as much away as I can. That may sound odd but I believe that we reap what we sow and thus I cannot ignore a person in need. This does not necessarily involve giving actual money away mainly because I simply don’t have it but I give free sessions to patients and offer heavy discounts to people who can ill-afford therapy.

When I am in India I also work at times and I remember last year working with another therapist who didn’t want to pay my full fee. In order to help him to perhaps feel more motivated to pay I let him know that I gave half of it away to the locals: ‘What the hell for?’ he very quickly asked with an astonished look on his face. He didn’t pay the full fee, even though he could afford it, and I still gave half of this to a local boy saving for his education. I will be honest with you; this is not the easy option and when I am feeling low, despondent and poor (!) I do have moments of resentment and martyrdom. But this quickly passes and when my heart pings open towards another human being I just can’t help myself! And that my friend is the way it should be:

Be the change you wish to see in the world.  And let us add to this;

without expectation.

For it is only when we expect something in return that we suffer. Drop the expectation, give from an open heart and just get on with life. It can be tough but it is what it is.

I wish you well.

Hmmm... now being a right-brainer Information technology is not my strong point but I have to say not being able to connect to the internet, a very slow hard drive and applications that seem to have developed their own ideas on how to run things is driving me crazy!!

Enter - synchronicity. A new massage client came for a treatment the other evening and noticed that my modem was not working. After his treatment he offered to kindly take a look and then after speaking to me in a foreign language (!) he said he would try and get me a new system as he works in IT.

The very next morning he sends me a text saying 'Ive got you a full Dell system and will drop it off Saturday.' Now my pc, the modem, the keyboard which were all inherited second hand anyways, are well on their last legs so I cannot tell you how happy and grateful this makes me!

In this modern age an efficient pc and internet connection make the job of creating, writing and communicating so much easier. It is very frustrating and a little disheartening being a struggling artist with so much vision and passion, yet so few pennies to rub together BUT I am very grateful to the Universe and my highest for providing!! THANK YOU!! 

Greetings all! Well 'the book' is finished; for now. I would like to talk today about the organic process of writing. There is an interesting conflict between meeting deadlines and letting the process unfold. My autobiog, although finished, isn't actually ready for submission yet and I do not know why. All I do know is that there is something that yet needs to be added; that hasn't presented itself yet. So in order to let this happen I have left it to 'cook' for a while whilst I work on my other book which is 90% finished; this is another project that has been cooking for a while whilst I worked on other things. It is important to let the right and left brains integrate and do their important jobs to produce a finished, polished product that you are proud of. If there is 'something missing' when you submit for publication the chances are the publisher or agent will also pick up on this and you will fall at the first hurdle. So take your time, drop any impatience and just let your beautiful sub concious do the rest! It will all happen in Divine Timing - have no fear. Matt xx

Hey All! Sorry I haven't blogged for a while but I have been so busy keeping my head above the financial ocean of recession that I lost myself for a while. It is all worth-while though because I now have a sharp focus on the direction I am going in and 'the book' is finally finished! I am just letting it rest for a few days before I edit.

So okay I am always moaning about the full moon BUT today is particularly powerful for me. I have spent the day watching back to back Ghost Whisperer to shelter from the world of decay and disintegration that threatened to overwhelm me. I did, however dodge the hounds of drunks and teenage junkies that littered the vomit-strewn streets around my sanctuary; to get my nightly Camel lights as I have to smoke myself silly of an evening. It’s a habit I have no intention of betraying.

This full moon is forcefully supported by retrograde mercury; which means that everything in our world slows down to such a painful pace that we have to take notice of it. So I am unsettled but grateful for the confirmation that I am not much longer for this city they call 'The City of Peace.' Yes really, as you enter the boundary of Manchester city centre the sign does indeed say 'The City of Peace.' Hilarious; if it weren't so obviously sad.

But remember that change would not happen if we weren't first pushed away from our sticking point and so this is merely the stage I am at; where the sticking suddenly becomes intolerable. Ringing a bell? I again remind you of the Home Page; 'Be the change you wish to see in the world.'

Have a great day and I look forward to chatting again soon. Matt x

Well what a week! I have had 'one of those' where everything went 'wrong.' My modem stopped working, the phone was out of order, my mobile broke and I had letters upon letters from the bank, debt collection agencies and the lovely gas board demanding money I didn't have. Argh!!!

So what to do? I took a BIG and DEEP breath, wrote some letters and looked out of my window at the chaos of the world outside. I used a littel trick a friend of mine taught me and asked myself: 'what is good about this situation?' A weird question when you feel so shit! But I came up with: 'Well the panic is forcing me to actually communicate with people I owe money to, The lack of technology cuts down on my many distractions, The in-my-face suffering in the world makes me make changes so I can actually do something about it and, of course, the time I now have on my hands enables me to write, paint and cry. I like a good cry sometimes.

The day after this revelation the phone worked and didn't stop ringing with work, the computer shop finally found the problem and fixed it and my mobile suddenly started working again.

Sometimes, just sometimes, we have to retreat, recoil, sit in the sadess and chaos and lick our wounds. In this retreat amazing and wonderful gifts are transmitted to us to bring about magical and creative change.

Synchronicity  does not always feel pleasant, but it is always synchronicity  and it is always the natural order of things. Going with it, whatever it is, can only be a good thing.